Bean Reaper
Coffee Finder
Which Bean Reaper is yours?
Nine coffees, one honest answer. Tell us how you brew, how you drink it and what you actually like tasting — we'll point you at the bag that fits instead of letting you guess from a wall of skulls. Takes about twenty seconds. No email, no account, no quiz-funnel nonsense.
Whole bean keeps its flavour far longer — ground coffee loses most of its aromatics within about fifteen minutes of grinding.
Roasted after you order and shipped within two business days. Free U.S. shipping on two or more bags.
The whole lineup, in one table
If you'd rather skip the questions and read the map yourself, here it is. Every coffee is 12 oz, $21.99, roasted after you order, available whole bean or ground.
| Coffee | Roast | Origin | Tastes like | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Last Call | Light | Ethiopia · Mexico · Brazil | Citrus, fresh fruit, light body | Pour-over and drip, drunk black |
| Wake The Dead | Light–medium | Colombia, single origin | Bright, fruit-forward, clean | Anyone moving up from grocery-store coffee |
| Grave Shift | Medium | Brazil · Colombia · Guatemala · Ethiopia | Balanced, smooth, no sharp edges | The house coffee. When in doubt, this one |
| Soul Snatcher | Medium | Brazil · Colombia · Guatemala | Smooth, rich, easygoing | Autopilot mornings, every single day |
| Midnight Reaper | Medium (rich) | Brazil · Mexico | Chocolate-covered almond, maple | Coffee with milk that still tastes like coffee |
| Coffin Break | Dark | Brazil · Mexico | Cocoa, toasted nut, real weight | Drip and French press, generous pour |
| Afterlife | Dark | Central America | Decadent, deep, not bitter | Dark-roast drinkers who hate ashtray coffee |
| Dead Man's Brew | Dark | Brazil | Bold, brooding, bittersweet | Espresso, moka pot, and people who mean it |
| Final Breath | Decaf | Indonesia (Sumatra Mandheling) | Full-bodied, earthy, deep | Evenings, and anyone off caffeine |
How we actually match you
There's no personality test hiding in here. The quiz weighs four things that genuinely predict whether you'll like a bag, and ignores everything that doesn't.
Your brew method sets the floor. Immersion brewing — French press, cold brew — pulls more body and rounds off sharpness, so it flatters darker coffee. Pour-over does the opposite: it exposes everything, which is a gift for a bright Colombian and a punishment for a scorched dark roast. How you take it matters more than most people admit. Milk and sugar mute acidity and eat delicate fruit notes, so a light roast in a big latte is money set on fire; that's where chocolate and nut notes earn their keep. Roast preference is the obvious lever, and flavour direction is the tiebreaker between coffees sitting at the same roast level.
Still not sure? Buy three instead of one.
Picking a coffee off a description is guesswork, and we'd rather you found your bag than trusted our adjectives. The Reaper's Sampler is three full 12 oz bags — light, medium and dark — for $54.99, which is cheaper than three bags bought separately and considerably cheaper than buying the wrong one twice.
Common questions
No — and it's usually slightly less if you measure by the scoop. Roasting doesn't create or destroy much caffeine, but it does burn off mass, so dark beans are lighter and less dense. A scoop of dark roast holds fewer grams of coffee than a scoop of light. Weigh in grams and the difference nearly vanishes. Our caffeine calculator shows the maths.
More than roast level does. Ground coffee has enormously more surface area exposed to oxygen, and the aromatic compounds that make fresh coffee taste like anything start leaving within minutes. If you own a grinder, buy whole bean. If you don't, buy ground and buy smaller bags more often.
Then tell us. Every bag is roasted to order in small batches, so we know exactly what went into yours. Reach us through the contact page and we'll sort it out.
Your beans aren't roasted until your order exists, and orders ship within two business days. Most coffee on a shelf was roasted months ago and doesn't have to say so. Ours is covered in the Freshness Promise.
Coffee-to-water ratio calculator · Grind size chart · Brew guides · Caffeine calculator